Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
