Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize