what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
