Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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