Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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