Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
