kristin has been a bad kristin
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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