I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
