It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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