After last night, I could never be a politician.
is wine microwaveable?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
