I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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