is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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