so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
