Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
