And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
