sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
