He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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