he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
