The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We need a shit load of segways right now
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
