Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i think i just naturally attract stoners
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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