i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
