how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
