I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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