Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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