I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
