I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
