So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
