If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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