i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
