Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
