the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
whose parrot is this?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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