I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
