Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
