she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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