its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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