What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
