by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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