She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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