it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
