You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
