Do vagina's smell?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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