Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Dual....:-)
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Success! We fucked roommates!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
