Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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