so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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