If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
