im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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