apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
