Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I am available for nakedness
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
