I am in a vortex of obligation.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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