Your tits are I can't wait for
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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