i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
