ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Randomize
