im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm too high and old for this...
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
