We're facebook friends in real life
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
