Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
