Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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