If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
