life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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