He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
