Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
