The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize