The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
