dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize