Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
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