Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
