And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
