I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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