he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
